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Jan. 19th, 2014

lolita

My Blog Has Moved

I have recently made my own website and my blog has moved there.

Here is the link: http://faithoflight.wix.com/brandimpolier

Can't wait to see you there!

Brandi~

Feb. 21st, 2013

journal

Reason #1 why I should never read before bed...

Reason #1 why I should never read before bed.

It's 1:23 AM. My night went like this:
-I should read some of 419, haven't read much lately.
-Start reading 419 at 10:30
-Look at the fact that I only have 150 pages left as the book is almost finished.
- Decide to go to bed after I finish reading said book.
- Finish reading said book and must shelve it away.
- Must move books from one shelf to another along 9 shelves to make room for said finished book.
- Finish shelving and think I should go to bed.
- Realize that isn't possible until I start a new book.
- Look at shelf of books to determine what I want to read.
- Realize I have over a 100 books on my to read shelf.
- Decide that it would be best to read the book that I gave Chris to read because I do want to read it and he wants me to catch up so we can talk about.
- Get said book.
- Look at all the other books.
- Read the backs of some of the other books.
- Determine again what to read.
- Figure out that I don't want to read a hardcover.
- Put back all the other books had wanted to read.
- Start the one I lent Chris.
- Read a few pages and think I should probably go to bed its getting late.
- Think screw that there is no way I can stop midway through a chapter.
- Read first chapter.
- Decide to go to bed.
- Put down book
- Look at clock
- It's past one in the morning.

- Go to computer because I have to go on goodreads and
leave my rating for 419 and click currently reading on the book I just
started
- Finish all that and decide to post this to my blog...


Reading does not help me sleep. Reading makes me sleep less...

Feb. 19th, 2013

lolita

After Image

Been having a tussle in my head lately while trying to write. After Image has been begging to be written and Spirit Unbreakable is being drowned out. So I put Spirit Unbreakable on hiatus for now and started working on After Image and low and behold I have written 30000 words in a month. Feels great to be writing again.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Dec. 4th, 2012

lily

My Best Friend and Cancer

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/288892/wdgi/1849339


Sarah (33), my best friend in the whole world, was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she went in for surgical removal of her ovary for a growth. Ovarian cancer is one of the worst cancer's that women can get with a high recurrence rate and she has to look forward to another surgery for a complete hysterectomy and oophorectomy (removal of her other ovary).

Not only does she have this ordeal to look forward to, but money problems can put a huge strain on the healthy and I do not want her to be burdened by more worry.

Please, PLEASE, help me raise money for her so that she can concentrate on her health instead of the problems of money.

I ask you to sacrifice your cup of coffee for a day to help my friend be able to be secure for a while longer that she will still have a place to go home to.

*** I want to make it clear that I am doing this for her on my own. I watched my sister go through cancer for 3 years (before she passed away) and I don't know what she would have done if she did not have critical illness insurance to help her with the many trips back and forth to the bigger centre for tests and the days that she had to spend in the hospital. Sarah doesn't have that so I felt I needed to do something for her.

Feb. 27th, 2012

journal

Call of Descent

So, I know I have a really small voice out here in the Inter-web. That, I guess, is what most influenced my choice to finally just get my work out there. My writing and photography have never been about the money for me. So instead of holding onto all of it until I die of old age with it in some dusty trunk somewhere, having let no one see it because heaven forbid they steal it, I decided why not just let the world see it. Maybe my Inter-web voice will get bigger if I just let it all out there, with no price tag attached. So, that was the motivation behind finally publishing my novel, Call of Descent. For all of you who find my tiny voice out here in the big stream of consciousness that is the world wide web, I hope you like it. Hey if the right people end up liking it, maybe there will be more because I could spend more time working on what I love and less on making money to live (they could finally become combined).

So for now my book is FREE! Hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it. Feel free to let me know, because, although I didn't write my books for any of you, just wrote them for myself, all of you give me the motivation to keep on writing.

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/135747

Jun. 17th, 2011

wings

Beginnings (An Arden Noann Adventure)

In light of my recent and uncontainable excitement about the upcoming Star Wars:The Old Republic (TOR) MMORPG that is scheduled to come out in October, I thought I would dig out some of my Star Wars Fan Fiction that I wrote around 2002. I created this character while playing the Star Wars Paper RPG and once created decided to give her some background. I got some pretty good stories out of it all and a lot of fun, and even an edge in Role Playing (if I so choose) in TOR.

Hope you all enjoy my youthful fan girling:

Beginnings

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

   Arden Noann sat on the steps leading up to her mother’s home, the child was humming softly to herself as she waited for her mother’s return.
The youth stopped her humming as she heard footsteps approaching her house from the west. She knew it was not her mother, it was too early in the day for her mother to be returning from town, so she crinkled her forehead in concentration as she tried to figure out why a stranger was walking so far into the woods, away from the nearest town and down a path that had no further point but Arden’s home and a lake that lay many kilometers away.
   Arden removed herself from the steps leading up to her home and began to walk towards the sound of the stranger’s footsteps. She could not see this traveler who was blocked from view by a bend in the road; however, she had a nagging sense that something important was going to happen.
   The steps finally were within seconds of reaching her when the sense overcame her. She saw a Theanfer lunge out at the passerby, tearing at him like a piece of meat.
   Arden raced around the corner, stepping directly in front of the traveler. The human before her stopped dead in his tracks irritated by the interruption on his journey. Arden looked at him sternly, trying to assess the situation. The man looked at Arden puzzled as he realized that it was a little girl that blocked his way.
   “Please excuse me child, I’m in a hurry,” the man traveler said sharply.
   “I’m sorry good sir, I heard you coming down the path and since it is such a long way from town you have come I thought you might like to refresh yourself. My home is just around the corner,” Arden said bowing slightly, hoping earnestly that he would accept her offer.
   “Such a kind offer, I accept. There are not many kind souls in the Galaxy like yourself.”
  Arden gave a relieved sigh as the traveler followed quickly behind her and stepped into her and her mother’s small home.
  “You’re an Offworlder, am I right?” Arden half asked half stated as she stepped into the kitchen to grab the refreshments.
   “Yes, I am. I come from Tatooine. It’s not too far from your own planet. I’m a trader on business here.” The Traveler nodded his head as a thank-you as Arden poured a glass of juice and handed it to him.
   “So how do you like Giam? It’s much different from Tatooine, is it not?” Arden asked.
   The Traveler raised his brows at the young girl. So much wisdom for such a young child. No more than nine and already she is trying to conceal that she knows more about what is going on than she is actually stating “Yes, Giam is full of forests and vast arrays of life forms. It is not as hot and dry here as it is on Tatooine.
   “Do you know of the Theanfer that inhabits this area of Giam?” Arden asked getting quite anxious now.
   “No, I’m not familiar with that species,” the Traveler said sensing the girl was trying to warn him of something.
   “Well, they are very ferocious beasts. Their teeth are as nasty as their claws and they are masters of stealth. Very dangerous.”
   “I’ll have to keep that in mind, young one.”
   “Please do, I would hate to see anything bad happen to a traveler such as yourself.”
   The Traveler having finished his refreshment made to leave. He smiled at Arden then spoke gently to her, “I didn’t catch your name, I would like to know it so that I may remember who gave me such kindness on my visit here.”
   “I’m Arden Noann. It was nice to have met you, sir.”
   The Traveler gave a nod as he slipped out the door. He left Arden’s house with more alertness to his surroundings, which was what Arden was hoping would happen.
   Arden watched him leave, glancing in the opposite direction as she noticed her mother coming home.
   Arden’s mother walked the short distance to her daughter, watching the man disappear out of sight as she did so.
   “Arden, who was that?” her mother asked a note in her voice that suggested that this was not the first time Arden had done something like this.
   “A traveler I was helping to avoid danger,” Arden said as she slipped back into the house.
   “Please tell me you didn’t tell him about your abilities,” her mother huffed anxiously.
   “Of course not mother. I’ll always be careful, I promise.”

   Arden stepped into the very busy Spaceport town. Offworlders passed by her, brushing past her like she was just another nuisance in their path. Arden herself didn’t mind, she was just content to be unnoticed and therefore make it easier for her to observe her surroundings.
She was on a rare trip to town to pick up her mothers goods. Her mother was mildly ill, and was unable to go herself. Arden was never allowed into town unless it was absolutely necessary for her to be there, because her mother felt there were too much dangers for one of her kind. What kind Arden was, the girl herself barely knew. All she realized was that there were no others of her talent on Giam and that fact alone was enough to unnerve the girl.
   A sharp scream issuing to her left broke up the nine-year-old’s thoughts. She dropped her bag and ran towards the source of the sound. She stopped dead in her tracks, horrifies by the appearance of the small boy that was laying on the ground before her. His body was seeping blood at a very fast rate, all through very deep cuts that rang along the whole of his body. By what Arden could tell, the boy had somehow been forced through a nearby window as there was glass littering the ground around his body. Giving no thought to her own safety, Arden pushed through the crowd and ran to the side of the unconscious boy. She placed her hands to his head, cupping the area for a better connection.
Ignoring the chaos around her, Arden began to quiet her mind and connect herself with the energy and life force before her. The boy’s body knew it was in danger but didn’t have enough energy or the quickness it needed to heal itself unaided. Arden lent her own energy to the process, helping the body to focus and repair the wounds that ran so deep. The process was long, but when the whisper of completeness rang through her tired mind, she knew that she had saved the boy, that he was out of harm’s way. With a sigh of relief Arden’s body lost what energy it had left and the girl collapsed onto the boy beneath her, unconscious but still alive.

   Two days had passed since Arden’s heroic rescue. Arden awoke from her energy reduced state only to find herself completely surrounded by darkness. She soon realized she was in the detainment center in the Space Port and all the strength that the girl had mustered up to face whatever was to come left her and tears began to form in her eyes as she became just a scared little girl, suddenly very alone in the galaxy.
I’ve done nothing wrong, I was only trying to help. Why are they so scared of me, I wouldn’t hurt them. I would never even think to. Arden shifted uncomfortably in her cell. The only light she had in her cold cell was what little seeped through the cracks in the door. With this little bit of light Arden soon realized that there was hardly anything but herself in the cell, not that it mattered much to her at that point anyway.
A crash of metal on metal rang down the hallway and Arden tensed in anticipation. However, nothing came for Arden and she was again plunged into a long wait, with only her sorrow to occupy her. In an attempt to banish the complete hopelessness that she felt, Arden began to do some quite meditation.
  She closed her eyes to the world and was immersed in complete darkness. She let her breathing become steady, deep and rhythmic. The pattern of which drew her in, a connection was made with that something she knew so much and so little about and her life became whole again. Colors streamed into her vision, all of a calming manner. A feeling overwhelmed her, a feeling of purpose. She realized that whatever happened here, to her, this very day was the beginning of her real life. She saw flashes of green and blue and clashing with red, something she felt that she would soon have a part with, and when she opened her eyes to dwell back in the here and now, she felt more at ease and ready to face the path she was now chosen to trod.
   Hours passed as Arden sat huddled in her cell until finally the metal door that barred her from the rest of the world flung open with an ear splitting creak and a man stepped inside her cell.
   Arden stood up, ready to face off against her captors. “Sir, I know you think what I did was god power, but if you just give me a chance to explain –” she was cut off as the man grabbed her arm and pulled her into the light of the hallway.
   “You don’t understand, I was only trying to help. Is the boy okay?” Arden tried again.
   “The boy is fine, but the mother of the boy says he’s been possessed by you.”
   Arden pulled back in shock. That’s a lie. I may have talked to him a bit when I was connected with him, but I don’t hold any control over him at all. “Why does she say this?”
   “Because it’s true. I saw him with my own eyes. His eyes are drawn inward and he barely speaks anymore. When he does, his words are barely discernible. He converses only with the demon you left inside of him.”
  Arden was shaking by this time. They misunderstand. He’s just dazed. That’s all, just dazed. The tears streamed down Arden’s face, she couldn’t stop them, and this time as she spoke her voice came out shaky, “Please don’t send me away, this is my home, I did not leave a demon in him, he’s just confused. If I could talk to him –”
   “If you could talk to him, you would just tell the demon to hide itself from us, you little God Child.”
   As Arden and her captor stepped out of the confines of the building all conversation between the man and her ceased as a barrage of voices over powered her own. Most of the town had gathered to watch the exile of one of the God Children and most of them were shouting obscenely and throwing various items at Arden. There was one comforting voice in the crowd that Arden recognized that of her mother.
   “Let me see my child. Let me see her!” Arden watched as her mother tried to push her way through the crowd only to be pushed back and thrown to the ground.
   Arden felt like screaming out to her, and struggling to get herself free, but she knew that she would just make herself look more crazy by the action, there was no way she could break free from the grasp of the men that held her. So with tears brimming in her eyes she walked confidently on, towards her new destiny.
   As they neared the ship before her, hands grabbed out at her and pulled her into the belly of the beast. The man that now held her did not look down at her at all, just pulled her deeper into the ship and away from her home. Arden felt the propulsion system of the ship lift them off of Giam and into unforgiving space. There was no turning back for her now.
  When she was finally led to an awaiting room, her new cell, the man finally took a look at his new goods. Arden looked up at him with tear filled eyes and shock of recognition spread through both of their faces. Here before her was the Traveler she had saved weeks before. Her features grew cold as she realized his job.
  “I should have let that Theanfer take you. You’re nothing but a heartless slave trader.” Her anger welled up inside of her. However, Arden suppressed it, trying with all her will to see the situation clearly.
   “Arden, dear God, how did you end up here?” the man spoke, visibly upset by this new predicament.
   “My people think I’m a God Child and that I possessed a boy with a demon, but it’s not true. They just wouldn’t listen.”
   The Traveler pushed Arden into the adjoining room and spoke in a lower voice, “Arden, you saved my life and so I will repay the debt. I will not lock your door or take away any of your belongings. When we arrive on Tatooine, flee this ship. I’ll give you a bit of money, but that is all I can do for you. Please forgive me.”
   “Sir, may I have your name?” Arden asked as the anger she felt finally dissipated.
   “Twilik Sofer,” the Traveler said as he closed the door behind him and left Arden alone for her life changing journey.

   Arden felt the ship land. She had escaped her cell the day before and had wandered around the large ship trying to figure out which was the best place to escape from. She was positioned in front of the cargo bay doors and there was not a sole in sight. She heard the doors open and she ran faster than any normal being could, escaping the sight of any watching alien and slipped into the city of Mos Eisley. It was the beginning of a new life for Arden, one she didn’t get into by choice, but at least here she was free and had no worries of standing out, for she knew she would never do that again.

Written by: Brandi M. Polier
Star Wars is copyright George Lucas. All rights reserved.
All content written here is a creative story based on George Lucas’ Star Wars universe.
All characters and events were created by Brandi Polier and have no approval of authenticity from George Lucas.

Jun. 2nd, 2011

journal

Back To Writing

May. 28th, 2011

lily

One Year Anniversary of Your Death

I wanted to write another poem for you, my sister. Instead someone sung a song for you. It's the only one I have been listening to today and it reminds me of you, of how I feel. It's sad, I know you wouldn't like that, but it is how I feel still, maybe even more so now that a year has passed. I love you so much. I wish you could see everything that has transpired since you left us. Maybe one day, when I see you again, I'll figure out a way to give you my memories so that you don't have to feel like you missed out on anything. That is my greatest sadness in life now, that you aren't here making memories with us. I wish more than anything that you could at least see.

2am, where do I begin
Crying off my face again
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed

I'm the ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl
That I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again

Too afraid, to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night
For the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me till I fall asleep

I'm the ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl
That I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again

Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me
And the lonely...

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again...

(The Lonely by Christina Perri)

Apr. 20th, 2011

lolita

Day Of Awakening 2011

In 2009 I decided to make a creative holiday for myself. I decided that I would pick April 20, because on that day in 2006 I wrote a dialogue with myself that no matter how I feel when I read it, inspires me again. This is my third annual celebration of this holiday, and the most subdued so far. I decided not to make a grand affair of it this year because of a lot of events that went on in my life within the past 11 months. An explanation of this day is as follows:


*************************************

DAY OF AWAKENING

What is the meaning of this day you ask? Well, the reason behind choosing this name for this day comes from the meaning of the word AWAKENING:

1. A revival of interest or attention.
2. A recognition, realization, or coming to awareness of something.

That is what happens when entering the world of creative thought. A sudden expansion into a previously unexplored world. An awakening of creative thought.

Today is entirely devoted to that endeavor. Unfortunately, that is easier spoken than actually reached. So, instead of spending all day trying to 'awaken' creativity, today is instead going to be devoted to trying to inspire creative thought.

All ideas no matter how crazy, bizarre, or 'trivial' are good ideas. Remember, there is no right way to inspire or awaken creativity, each person experiences it differently. So today just be prepared to keep your mind open and don't be afraid to give voice to your creativity in any way it comes.

**************************************

This year's day of awakening has been timid and more of a thought in my head than an actual event. Mostly because I am still unsure how to celebrate creativity amidst a world where I am still so utterly consumed by sadness. Oddly, today's Oprah happened to be about finding the inner you, standing up and saying "I am...". I am so ridiculously happy that today, my holiday, is the day she decided to do a show about doing what you love.

See a clip here

Tomorrow, after I have actually completed my Day of Awakening, I will post a little bit of my discoveries. Hopefully, despite the pain I feel in life I will learn to find a bit of happiness again.

***************************************

So I decided that my theme for my pictures this year would be simple. Instead of seeking out into the wide world for my creative inspiration, I decided to search my house and see why I filled it with the items that I did. Most importantly, I took pictures of things that help me view the world with a different perspective. They may be simple, but whether it be a cup of tea in my favorite cup, of the look of my cats paws while she is staring out the window, or a patchwork doll they all make me endeavor to find the story in each, find the stories buried within my mind.






































Apr. 10th, 2011

journal

Book Binding

So, I have been really upset with the idea that books are taking the electronic form by storm. "Ebooks are the way to go!"

Well, I have other thoughts in that area. I have an ebook reader, the ability to read ebooks and such, and I have yet to get through an entire book reading it in electronic format. Why? Well there are a lot of reasons for this, mostly its because I have rituals I do when I read.

If you really get down to it, the reasons I love the actual feel of a book in my hands and read more readily a hardcopy version rather than an e-version, are clearly explained in Inkheart, by Cornelia Funke.

My rituals when reading: First I get the book and I flip all the pages from front to back and digest the sent of it as it wafts from the breeze I make. I examine the cover, read the back a few times, and then I delve into the meat of the book. After every chapter I page through the book and look at the beginning of every chapter, examining how many pages each chapter is and how far away I am from the middle and end of the book. Then when I have read enough I flip through the pages that I have read which gives me a sense of satisfaction of having read so much. Around the midway point I flip the pages I have left constantly, sensing the imminent end of the book drawing closer and closer.

I can't get all of that from looking at the bottom of a screen and it saying "28% completed."

Ebook will never hold a candle to the real thing for me. It just isn't going to happen.

So in an attempt to stave off this unfortunate format of book (which seems to be the only format for some books now, at the moment mine included) I have decided to start binding my own books.

When visiting my uncle in Seattle, WA, I was able to go to an art supply store and buy a spectacular array of items needed for bookbinding, which was great because I can't acquire such things in my town. I decided to try an see what I could do with the book I bought on binding books and I made 2 pretty great looking books. I am kind of a fan of exposed binding on books so I left the ones I made exposed.

Bound my ebook, Dyllys, for a good friend of mine, and then bound together my electronic journal for 2010. I love it and can't wait to find another excuse to bind another book.

Printing the signatures, on the other hand, is not my favorite thing to do.


My hand bound book Dyllys:








My journal for 2010:






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